Almost here...National Coming Out Day is October 11th! Yes, it's that time of year. I'm a pretty out person so 'coming out' is sort of old news for me - but I do plan to remind my co-workers by wearing a nicely obvious rainbow pin that they can't miss - (I do what I can). I tend to think of coming out day as one of self-reflection - it's a day to think back on when I did come out as a transsexual - to everyone, family, friends, co-workers, etc... and how coming out has changed my life (mostly for the better).
November holds a different important date - the Transgender Day of Remembrance (http://www.gender.org/remember/day/index.html) on November 20th. The day we remember those transgendered people who have been killed - because they are transgendered. The price transgendered people pay for 'coming out' and living open and honest lives - is that they must live a life of increased risk. Risk that includes being brutally murdered. At the Day Of Remembrance we honor those who paid with their lives for being out.
As an open and out transsexual woman I am painfully aware that transgendered people have a long way to go be accepted in the GLB mainstream, and an even longer way to go to be accepted in society at large. But I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that I shouldn't be murdered just because I'm a transsexual! Alas, as the Day Of Remembrance so pointedly reminds me - this expectation is far from the reality of today.
The other statistics about being a transsexual aren't very encouraging. Various studies of transsexuals have shown attempted suicide rates to be in the 19 to 25% range. Think about it, roughly speaking 1 in 5 transsexuals has tried to kill themselves! As high as those statistics seem - my personal experience is that the attempted rate is actually much higher! Nearly every transsexual I've ever met has attempted suicide (myself included) or seriously contemplated it.
Transition is fraught with risks. Read a few of the many transsexual biographies and you'll read of the pain, expense and difficulty most transsexuals deal with - just to get help in transitioning. Transition being the only medically proven way to mitigate the intense feeling of conflict between gender and outward appearance. 99.9999% of insurance companies in the US deny any/all medical expenses related to 'changing sex', or 'changing gender'. Transition is almost always 100% funded by the person who is transitioning. The government and legal systems have inadequate and inconsistent standards for transitioning. The mental health and medical establishments are woefully under educated about GLBT issues - but especially those in the transgender and transsexual category.
Then there is the scary fact that there are almost no studies of the health risks of being a transsexual. Some doctors think I should have a pap smear, some think I shouldn't - who is right? What is my risk of cancer? When should I have a mammogram? Can anyone tell me the long term risks for a transsexual being on hormone replacement? There is no guidance and no consensus. How would you like to go to your doctor with a question and be told - "I don't know", "there's no literature in the medical journals", or "I'm not sure - you might want to check with another doctor"? (as happened to me when I asked about a pap smear).
So, if a transsexual manages to not commit suicide, and if they figure out what their problem is and decide transition is what they need to do - and if they overcome the obstacles of an unhelpful (and preventative in some cases) medical, legal and governmental system, and if they can find the monetary resources to transition, and if they can afford the mental & physical pain of transition - then they must live in a society that knows nearly nothing about them, deal with a medical community that is ignorant, and run the risk of being killed for being who they are. It's clear to me that - so much more work needs to be done. No one should be killed, brutally murdered, just for being who they are, for dealing with an extremely difficult problem in the only way that they can.
Unfortunately I don't have near as many answers as I do questions & observations. It does strike me that those transsexuals that have made it through to the other side of transition (assuming transition has an end point) need to help those that are in the process. Things like mentoring come to mind. Transsexuals helping transsexuals - what a concept! Education is another big one. Right or wrong - Transsexuals are grouped with Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual people. Grouped with people who are often less than thrilled with, and painfully unaware of, the Transsexuals in their midst. We must educate the GLB community if we are to be full members of the GLBT community. And we must educate the broader society that we exist, we matter and we deserve to be treated as full members of society! I'm sure there are other things to do, and many other options, but helping others and educating others sure seems like a great places to start.
